1. Introduction
Living in a fast-paced city like Hong Kong, where the hustle of work, family, and daily life can feel relentless, it’s not uncommon for someone you care about to face mental health challenges. Whether it’s a friend, family member, or colleague, you might notice they’re struggling—perhaps they seem withdrawn, anxious, or just not themselves. As someone close to them, you’re often in a unique position to offer support and guide them towards help. This resource is designed to empower you, a member of the Hong Kong community, to support someone experiencing mental health difficulties with confidence and care. It’s about equipping you with practical, compassionate steps to make a difference, while also looking after yourself. You don’t need to be an expert—just someone who cares.
2. Understanding Your Role
You don’t need to be a mental health professional to make a meaningful impact. In fact, friends, family, colleagues, or community members are often the first point of contact someone turns to—or who notices something’s wrong—before they seek professional help. Your role as a supporter is powerful: you provide a safe space, a listening ear, and encouragement to take the next step. In Hong Kong’s high-pressure environment, where stigma around mental health still lingers, your support can be a lifeline.
- Know Your Limits: You’re not trained to diagnose mental health conditions, and that’s okay—that’s a job for professionals like psychiatrists or clinical psychologists. Your focus is on recognising signs of struggle, offering support, and helping connect someone to the right resources. For example, you might notice a friend is more withdrawn or a family member seems overwhelmed by stress. Your role is to respond with empathy, not to label their experience.
- Emphasise Prevention and Early Intervention: Mental health exists on a spectrum, from healthy coping to mild distress to severe impairment or crisis (National Defence, Government of Canada, 2008). Catching challenges early—when someone’s at the “at-risk” stage—can prevent things from worsening. Think of it like catching a cold before it turns into pneumonia: early support, like a check-in chat or helping someone find resources, can stop small struggles from becoming a crisis. In Hong Kong, where long work hours and competitive environment can amplify stress, your support can be a game-changer.
3. Offering Emotional Support
Emotional support is about showing someone they’re not alone. In a city as busy as Hong Kong, where it’s easy to feel disconnected despite the crowds, a compassionate ear can make all the difference.
- Listen Without Judgement: If your friend or loved one opens up about feeling low, anxious, or stressed, resist the urge to jump in with solutions. Instead, say things like, “I’m here for you,” or “That sounds really tough—want to tell me more?” These simple phrases show you care without pushing them to “fix” things right away.
- Be Patient and Present: Mental health struggles don’t vanish overnight, and someone might not be ready to talk immediately. Check in gently—maybe over coffee or a quick message after work. Avoid clichés like “Just cheer up!” as they can feel dismissive. Instead, validate their feelings: “It’s okay to feel this way, and I’m here to support you.” In Hong Kong’s fast-paced culture, where people often hide struggles to “save face,” your genuine care can help them feel safe.
- Encourage Opening Up Gently: If they’re hesitant to open up, don’t force it. Let them know you’re available when they’re ready. For example, you could say, “I’ve noticed you seem a bit down lately, and I’m here whenever you want to chat.” This plants a seed of trust without pressure.
4. Providing Practical Support
Practical support means helping someone take concrete steps towards help, especially in a city like Hong Kong where navigating mental health resources can feel overwhelming.
- Research Options Together: Suggest looking into Mind HK’s Community Directory to find services like counselling or support groups. Offer to sit with them while they browse or make a call together—small acts like these can ease the burden.
- Point to Accessible Resources: If they’re unsure where to start, highlight options like:
Mind HK’s “Wellbeing Check-in” service (free one-time, 45-minute one-on-one session),
Mind HK’s iACT service (free 6-8 sessions of one-on-one psychological support),
text-based counselling like OpenUp (https://www.openup.hk),
Samaritan Befrienders Hong Kong “ChatPoint” (https://chatpoint.org.hk), Integrated Community Centres for Mental Wellbeing (ICCMWs) for one-stop, district-based, multi-disciplinary professional help including social workers and clinical psychologists.
For someone who might feel stigma around mental health, framing these services as “a way to talk things through” can make them seem less intimidating. - Help with Logistics: If they’re nervous about attending a first appointment, offer to go with them or help them plan their commute—say, mapping out the MTR route to a counselling centre. In Hong Kong, where time and space are tight, practical help like this can make seeking help feel less daunting.
5. Responding When Someone Resists Help
It’s common for someone to push back against seeking help, especially in Hong Kong where cultural attitudes might make discussing mental health feel taboo. They might say, “I’m fine,” or “I don’t need a therapist.” Don’t take it personally—this resistance often comes from fear, stigma, or feeling overwhelmed.
- Explore Their Concerns Gently: Ask open-ended questions like, “What’s making you feel unsure about getting help?” or “What would make it easier for you to try?” This shows you respect their feelings while keeping the door open.
- Share Information Subtly: Maybe mention a friend who found counselling helpful (or your own help-seeking experience, if you have any and are open to share with the person you’re trying to help them seek help) or share useful resources like Mind HK’s website (https://www.mind.org.hk/) to learn more about mental health and community resources without pushing.
- Be Persistent But Gentle: Check in over time, perhaps during a casual lunch or a walk to MTR station after work. If they’re worried about cost or access, highlight free or low-cost options like the ones mentioned in the previous section “Providing Practical Support”. If resistance continues, focus on maintaining your connection—they may come around when they’re ready.
6. Handling Unusual or Concerning Beliefs
Sometimes, mental health challenges can lead to unusual thoughts or beliefs, like feeling overly suspicious or talking about things that seem out of touch with reality. This can be unsettling, but stay calm and non-judgemental.
- Avoid Arguing or Correcting: This can make them feel dismissed or defensive.
- Focus on Their Emotions or Behavioural Changes: For example, if a loved one says something that seems unusual, like believing they’re being watched, respond with, “That sounds really stressful—how’s it been affecting you?” This keeps the conversation open and shows you care about their experience, not just the belief itself.
- Encourage Professional Help: Frame it as a way to ease their distress. For example, “It might help to talk to someone who can support you with how stressful this feels.” If their beliefs seem to be intensifying or affecting their daily life, like missing work or withdrawing socially, it might be a sign to seek help sooner—see the “Addressing Emergencies” section below.
7. Addressing Emergencies
In some cases, someone’s mental health might reach a crisis point, such as expressing thoughts of self-harm or suicide, or behaving in ways that seem unsafe. This can feel scary, but your calm response can make a difference.
- Take It Seriously: If someone mentions wanting to hurt themselves or others, ask directly but gently, “Are you thinking about hurting yourself?” or “Are you feeling unsafe?” These questions won’t “plant” ideas—they open the door to honest talk.
- Act Immediately If Needed: If you’re worried about their immediate safety, don’t leave them alone. In Hong Kong, you can call the Samaritans 24-hour hotline at 2896 0000 for immediate support or, in an emergency, dial 999 for police or ambulance services. Stay with them, keep them calm, and remove any immediate dangers, like sharp objects, if safe to do so.
- For Non-Emergencies: Encourage them to contact a professional service like
–Mind HK’s iACT service (free 6-8 sessions of one-on-one psychological support)
–ICCMW service a general practitioner who can refer them to a psychiatrist,
-the Hospital Authority EASY hotline at 2928 3283 for suspected cases of early psychosis (unusual beliefs, abnormal sounds and voices).
Offer to help make the call or go with them to an appointment. Your presence can provide reassurance in a moment of crisis.
8. Looking After Yourself as a Supporter
Supporting someone else can be emotionally taxing, especially in Hong Kong’s high-pressure environment where you might already be juggling work, family, or studies. It’s vital to care for yourself so you can be there for them without burning out.
- Set Boundaries: Be clear about when you’re available to talk, and don’t feel guilty for taking time for yourself.
- Check In with Your Own Mental Health: If you’re feeling overwhelmed, try small self-care habits like a quick walk by the harbourside, a mindfulness app, or chatting with a trusted friend. You can also access resources like Mind HK’s “Wellbeing Check-in” for a one-off 45-minute one-on-one session to process your feelings.
- Connect with Others: Joining a support group, like those listed on Mind HK’s Community Directory, can help you share experiences and feel less alone. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup—taking care of yourself strengthens your ability to support others.